“Who am I?”, was not always a conscious question.
For all my life, in so many different ways, I was busy becoming this and that,
And being, or seeing, ‘who am I’ , was not relevant somehow.
An interesting retrospective is that when ever a ‘becoming’ was achieved, and the self image could stay happy with its new and attractive identification, I felt empty and unsatisfied by it.
Yet, instead of inquiring into the root of the self, identification, image making,
I always chose to replace one story with a new one.
As a kid, which was relatively talented student, the point came where all studies felt insignificant, and I left school to work in the farm.
Later, after achieving status and recognition in the construction business as a professional wood housing business owner, in a turn of events, I went to the world of technology and without any relevant background achieved unique recognition of managing top research labs in leading research institutions.
Feeling locked within the rules of organizations, I then pursued the path of high tech entrepreneurship, and lead the company I founded to 9 figures valuation.
All this is mentioned so that we establish some understanding that the life of this human being was full of activity. And the questions of self inquiry didn’t appear in a reality of life that was “disconnected from the world”.
No matter how satisfied the image was from its self assurance and recognition in the world, the inner space of this human being felt less and less alive.
I feel that you can see this in your own life, and would love to see a comment from you about it below 🐬
It is worth mentioning that since very early age, I had interest in anything that is beyond the known, the word God was there, but I never bought into a ‘definitive path’, or any ‘understanding’ of what that word is (or isn’t) pointing at.
I met a man, early in my life, which his eyes had no shadow of deceive. And endless teaching came from that,
Yet, the mystery of life stayed within the limits of the known, which seemed to expand and change without limit, but never reached a point of true inner freedom.
Another retrospective observation is that the more chaotic my life was, at times where much was at risk and there was no horizon for crossing it safe, at those times, my heart felt “home”.
Whenever I was really “lost”, in a weird way I felt most “found”.
“The love for not knowing, is the only eye for truth.”
Much later, when I met JK teachings, a whole new dimension of the capacity to see the beauty of not knowing, came to be.
More on that, in future posts…
From the video above :
“ ‘Who am I?’ will come to be, not as knowledge but as a question “
The text from the video above, is in the link below:
A digital nomad with an analog heart